Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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