Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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