I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
