i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
