Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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