Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
