So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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