Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
