I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
