I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize