If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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