OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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