wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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