Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
