just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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