You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
