Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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