I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize