the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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