I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize