we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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