I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
