He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
