she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
