forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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