five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the day after is always just damage control
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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