Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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