CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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