Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
