I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
