But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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