i don't like sucking hair
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
