I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize