I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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