I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
