Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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