I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
