First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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