yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
