Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
