I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The air taste purple.
Randomize
