he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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