he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
