i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
