Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
