my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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