lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
