Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
