And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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