I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
