they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
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