We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
