I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
