I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
