It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
