I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize