cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
