you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
