i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
