I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
