My brain says no but my pants say off.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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