come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
